Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived; happiness, sadness, knowledge, and all the others, including love. One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave. Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment. When the island was almost totally under, love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help. Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, “Richness, Can I come with you on your boat?” Richness answered,” I’m sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere.” Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, “Vanity, help me please.” “I can’t help you”, Vanity said, “You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat.” Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, “Sadness, please let me go with you.” Sadness answered, “Love, I’m sorry, but, I just need to be alone now.” Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, ” Happiness, please take me with you.” But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn’t hear Love calling to him. Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, “Come Love, I will take you with me.” It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived on land the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder. Love then found Knowledge and asked, “Who was it that helped me?” “It was Time”, Knowledge answered. “But why did Time help me when no one else would?”, Love asked. Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered, “Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is.”

This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn’t that he didn’t want a relationship: it was that he didn’t want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he’d realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.

This is for the “I really like you, so let’s still be friends” comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you’ve received from your female friends, for the nights they’ve reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you’d have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we’ve believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we’d have ever wanted.

Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mindgames, that girls love to keep them hanging. Yet, men, I ask you: were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call… and if you were to receive a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the “stalker chick” you’d met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this “nice girl” who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you’re not looking for a nice girl.

You don’t want the nice girl.. so don’t say you’re looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we’re willing to extend – - but in return, we’re looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express.

A long time ago, before the world was created and humans set foot on it for the first time, virtues and vices floated around and were bored, not knowing what to do. One day, all the vices and virtues were gathered together and were more bored than ever. Suddenly, Ingenious came up with an idea: Let’s play hide and seek! All of them liked the idea and immediately Madness shouted: I want to count, I want to count! And since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek Madness, all the others agreed. Madness leaned against a tree and started to count: One, two, three… As Madness counted, the vices and virtues went hiding. Tenderness hung itself on the horn of the moon, Reason hid in a pile of garbage. Fondness curled up between the clouds and Passion went to the center of the earth. Lie said that it would hide under a stone, but hid at the bottom of the lake, whilst Avarice entered a sack that he ended up breaking. And Madness continued to count: … seventy nine, eighty, eighty one… By this time, all the vices and virtues were already hidden – except Love. For undecided as Love is, he could not decide where to hide. And this should not surprise us, because we all know how difficult it is to hide Love. Madness: …ninety five, ninety six, ninety seven… Just when Madness got to one hundred, Love jumped into a rose bush where he hid. And Madness turned around and shouted: I’m coming, I’m coming! As Madness turned around, Laziness was the first to be found, because Laziness had no energy to hide. Then he spotted Tenderness in the horn of the moon, Lie at the bottom of the lake and Passion at the center of the earth. One by one, Madness found them all – except Love. Madness was getting desperate, unable to find Love. Envious of Love, Envy whispered to Madness: You only need to find Love, and Love is hiding in the rose bush. Madness grabbed a wooden pitch fork and stabbed wildly at the rose bush. Madness stabbed and stabbed until a heartbreaking cry made him stop. Love appeared from the rose bush, covering his face with his hands. Between his fingers ran two trickles of blood from his eyes. Madness, so anxious to find Love, had stabbed out Love’s eyes with a pitch fork. What have I done! What have I done! Madness shouted. I have left you blind! How can I repair it? And Love answered: You cannot repair my eyes. But if you want to do something for me, you can be my guide. And so it came about that from that day on, Love is blind and is always accompanied by Madness….There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving…there are some love that don’t go away…but we should all be lucky to end up with that somebody who has a little of that insanity. Somebody who never lets go. Somebody who cherishes you forever.

Temptations come about all the time. However, there is no excuse to fall into them. If and when you really, truly can love, care and, most of all, respect yourself and your other half, nothing should come between the two of you. If someone has doubts or finds him or herself tempted by enticing invites, then the person he or she is currently with just isn’t the one.

Being careful with who you trust and wish to share your life and heart with can be very tricky business. Some people may believe the world is full of selfish people, but it is also filled with unselfish people who believe that “sharing is caring.”

The words sharing and relationships should not be used in the same sentence unless used in a positive way. It sounds too similar to the word “cheating.” If you have to think twice about sharing, what you think you have probably isn’t what you think it is.

Maybe all of the above has already happened to you. Maybe this is all been there, done that. Now you’re bitter, mad as hell and find yourself frowning at the sight or sound of love. It’s OK: this can happen to anyone who’s had their heart ripped out while fighting to keep it beating, but dwelling on it will never yield results. Wipe your eyes and turn the page.

You may feel like you will never be able to love again and definitely never want to trust anyone. Just know the sun does come out again after every storm. Someone can walk into your life just as fast as that someone who hurt you walked out of your life and change all of your pessimistic perceptions on love into optimistic opinions. Don’t be mad at the person who previously hurt you: instead, be thankful, for now you know what real, true, happy love feels and looks like.

Don’t give up, and don’t go on a desperate rampage to find true love. Let it find you, and when it does, trust yourself. If it feels right, it is. Be patient. Anything is truly possible if you believe in it and yourself. If love is your main focus, pay attention!

LET LOVE FIND YOU

There’s no doubt about it-breakups suck. But in the first few hours or days or weeks that follow, there’s one important truth you need to recognize: Some things can’t and shouldn’t be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump him. It’s over for a reason, and deep down inside you probably know what that reason is.

At the end of the day, it’s about weather YOU like yourself enough to face the reality that your romance wasn’t working.. to recognize that it wasn’t giving you what you needed and deserved

Life’s biggest rewards come from the biggest challenges.

Anyone who assesses you or your realtionship as “disposable” is not worthy of your time or tears.

Just remember, though, that any reasons you come up with are ultimately irrelavant. The harsh reality is that even if you have EVERYTHING else in common, the one thing you don’t have in common is the belief that this realtionship can work. & that alone trumps your shared love of puppies, The Dave Matthews Band, and Mexican food.

A lot of the pain you are experiencing right now is auctually fear. Fear of things being different then how you liked them, fear of never finding love again, fear of being alone, fear of having to fill your time differently. We’re afraid of the unknown.

The person you loved took a good long look at the awesomeness that is you, evaluated your relationship together, and said, “No, thanks. I’ll try my luck elsewhere.” Or you said it to him. Either way, that alone should make you realize that it wasn’t a match made in heaven

“I don’t know” means “NO!”
“I don’t know” means “I’m too cowardly to tell you the truth because I can’t deal with confrontation.”
“I don’t know” means please do the dirty work for me becasue I don’t want to hurt your feelings even more then I already have.

Awesome thought: The annoying thing that your ex did will never bother you again. I’m sure that your plan to get him back worked out in your head. I’m even sure that it worked out in some movie you saw. But your ex does not have the time to follow a movie script and you shouldn’t either. Move on.

Every moment of pain, weakness, and discomfort puts you in a positon to choose how you will react and how you will alleviate your condition. Calling him doesn’t make it better.. it only pulls you back into the cycle of heartbreak.
He is the past. You are the future.

Messing up his life isn’t the best revenge. It’s getting on with yours and living it to the fullest.

One of the suckiest and most frustrating facts of life is that sometimes rela­tionships just end, often without reason. I truly believe that some­times both men and women simply run out of love, even when there was a lot of it in the beginning.

Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself.

As much as it sucks, you need to FORCE youself to remember your very worst times together, ..his most irritating habits and the hard truth that not only can he live without you.. but he’d rather.

You’re giving an okay guy who cheats on his girlfriend a hell of a lot more credit then he deserves. He’s a coward and a betrayer of not one but TWO women. He clearly feels ambivalent about you at best.. otherwise, he would have left this other woman a long time ago.

So many of us find ourselves saying “BUT HE WAS SO GREAT!” Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on vacation. Things changed and it’s important to remember that they did.

Awesome thought: The right guy is out there right now, wondering when he’s going meet someone just like you.

His regrets or lack thereof are exactly that- his . and not even the best little black cocktail dress can change that.

Every time you see him, you only make youself vulnerable to futher heartache. Do you really need further proof that he’s getting on with his life without you?

The one who dumped you has had a huge head start on the healing. However long he entertained ending the realationship is also how long he’s been emotionally extracting himself from you.

He was either partially or totally over it before you even knew it was going down

You weren’t in the same realationship. That should answer ALL your questions.

You can love your friends.. ..you can love your family … you can even love every stray dog or stray drummer that crosses your path. HOWEVER, you have to learn how to love yourself, like yourself, and put yourself first before you will ever find the healthy, loving, and lasting realtionship that you’ve been looking for.

by Greg Behrendt and Amira Ruotola-Behrendt

A time comes in your life when you finally get it… When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out – ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blinkback your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening. You realize that it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren’t always fairytale endings (or beginnings forthat matter) and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are… and that’s OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn’t do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it’s not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you’ve been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh and what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents.You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be, more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change so it is with love…. and you learn that you don’t have the right to demand love on your terms… just to make you happy. And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely… And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you “stack up.”

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK….and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want…and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won’t settle for less. And, you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with his touch… and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn, that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve… and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time. FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn’t punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It’s just life happening.And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state – the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever to settle for less than your heart’s desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.